‘Cause You Got Personality

By the time you are in your thirties, you’ve likely done a little soul searching, read your horoscope, done a few cosmo quizzes and have some idea what your best qualities are and where you’d like to improve. You likely know this about your spouse, too, and are starting to see your offsprings’ personalities bud with each excited gesture and pouty “NO!”

Knowing who you are and who you want to be is tough and it’s big business for many career counsellors, executives, psychologists, psychics and astrologists. Who and what you put your trust in is up to you.

Perhaps you’ve never done any formal personality assessments or maybe you’re sick of employers and teachers trying to smack another label on you. Your personality is complex regardless of how you define it. So with that in mind, we’ll attempt to scratch the surface of who we are with our Personality Salon.

We’ve decided to talk about some of the more well-known indicators such as Myers-Briggs, Keirsey Temperaments and Birth Order. There is, of course, debate about these methods. Some live by their MB letters and others discredit them as unscientific and useless. And we all know not all firstborns are leaders and not all last-borns are aimless. But it wouldn’t be a salon-worthy topic if we all thought the same thing!

If there’s time we’ll see what the stars have planned for us and touch on a bit of numerology. I’ll bet we have a few regular horoscope readers amongst us.

Take a few minutes to figure out what all the “experts” are saying about you and your place in the world by browsing through some of our research. Who knows, maybe it’ll help you with your career, your relationships or your parenting style.

And let’s not forget the school of life. You probably know yourself from profound experiences and daily habits that can’t be indicated by anything other than your own heart and mind.

Information Overload Review

Members Present: KJD, KD, MD, LG, BM & JM

After sending one last text and muting all our cell phones, we sat down (on the floor, in jammies with all the snacks in the middle) to begin our discussion on Information Overload, or “infobesity” as we prefer to call it.  Each member drew a technology-related term from the jar as a conversation starter. Read below for a brief overview of each topic.

INTERNET

• All moms shared their own little anecdote about the “olden days” when the WWW was just up and running. Many of us were in high school or just beginning post-secondary and had desktop computers that weighed as much as a car! (Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration…)

PINTEREST

• As a crafty bunch of creative women, we are big fans of Pinterest. In fact, only one mom is not a member. No one could resist sharing one or two “tips” they picked up from the online pinboard. I know it’s definitely one of my favourites!

INSTAGRAM

• Who doesn’t love super-easy editing and cool effects added almost instantly to their pictures? Whether we share our photos with the public or not, all moms had to agree with the Kardashians: They love this fun and simple-to-use camera but will shut down their account should the company ever change its policy on photo ownership (they were apparently going to make it that each photo taken with this app would be available to advertisers).

FACEBOOK

• You can’t talk about Information Overload without taking about “Facesmack”. Although many users deactivate and reactivate their accounts (for many reasons, but most commonly it’s self-identified addiction), Facebook is a popular one among moms as it allows us to keep in touch with friends and family… and also gives us the freedom to “unfriend” some unwanted acquaintances. If only it was that easy in the real world!

BLOGOSPHERE

• Almost 100% of our moms said that they regularly read a blog or two. Whether it be for some down-to-earth make-up advice, how to potty train a toddler or some more intellectual and stimulating topics, it’s nice to have get advice or read the opinions of another person in a similar situation.

PERSONAL BOUNDARIES & STRESS

• With the world at the tip of our fingers, the subject of personal boundaries and stress are sure to come up. Having access to a wealth of knowledge and people, sometimes creates issues in many relationships. Many moms admitted that despite its ease and convenience, the Internet does cause more “work” and with that comes even more stress in a fast-paced world. “Overshare” also created a different kind of infobesity when we found ourselves caring about things we wouldn’t normally know about. We all know that moderation is the key to success, with a little bit of indulgence here and there. (Youtube anyone?)

WORKING TIME

• Depending on our occupation, some moms admitted to “surfing the net” on work hours, while others said they just don’t have time. Regardless, having the WWW accessible from work is both handy and useful during our eight- or nine-hour working days (or longer for our stay-at-home moms).

Conclusion: Talking about excessive technology use is always somewhat therapeutic, as deep down, we all know we all have a bit of an addiction (whether it be to Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram or blogs) and it’s nice to feel normal. We embrace the conveniences and benefits the Internet provides us (think about how many times you’ve searched WebMD for symptoms that you’re toddler’s displaying!), but acknowledge that there’s a time and a place for it. Which is most certainly NOT at the dinner table or the playground.

Information Overload

At the risk of overloading our saloners’ brains with even more information, we’ve gathered a few articles on the effects of information overload. While we may be contributing to growing to-do lists and demanding a spot on an already jam-packed calendar, we think this salon may actually help us all reevaluate the way we use technology, absorb information and prioritize our time.

I know there are times when I’m guilty of checking my smartphone with each message alert, scrolling through Facebook or Instagramming my kids’ cheeky expressions instead of interacting with them. The need to consume and share information may be doing more harm than good and I’m sure I’m not the only one whose wired brain could use a reboot.

Information Overload

Let’s start with a quick definition from good ol’ Wikipedia. Information Overload or Infobesity is a fairly modern affliction and many of us may not realize just how much it affects the way we live. The ability to produce and consume information is changing our relationships, jobs and bodies. It’s time to step back and see what we can do to curb its negative effects.

When Technology Addiction Takes Over Your Life

Obsessively checking email or Twitter could mean missing out on the life around you. Even if you’re not a self-described addict, tips like the “not-to-do list” can help give your brain some much-needed recovery time.

How Tech is Changing College Life

Think your dependency on technology is bad? Check out this Mashable infographic of the way university and college students use their smartphones, e-readers and computers. Fast-forward a few years and its likely our little ones will think pens and paper were last used by cavemen.

Too Much Information

While we may feel that “information overload” is a new phenomenon, the term was popularized by Alvin Toffler in 1970 and even some Victorians complained that “the businessman of the present day must be continually on the jump.” But this article from The Economist points to present-day “data smog” (one of many terms) that is physically hurting us, increasing our stress and ruining our creativity. We need more filters to return our “information sanity” and that may come in the form of even more technology.

Now stop reading this on your iPhone while trying to cook dinner and play with your kids!

Would You Rather…

We’re mixing things up a bit here at Mom Salon by breaking our own rules (you must dress up) and putting on our pajamas for our sleepover-themed night. Our topic is a thoughtful version of “Would You Rather…” and we’re excited to hear our moms responses. We’ll try to relive the joy of staying up all night chatting with girlfriends instead of the “joy” of sleepless nights motherhood has brought us.

We hand-selected the following questions from Get To Know U, which had some great questions but also some pretty dumb ones. This game can be ridiculous at times and I would only recommend the would you rather app if you feel like answering silly questions like: would you rather eat boogers or rotten tomatoes — rotten tomatoes, in case you’re wondering.

Take a look and start thinking of your answers. You may be surprised to find you’re not quite sure. Ask your hubby a few and if you have older children, see what they think. There is lots of opportunity here for easy intros to interesting conversation.

• Would you rather have $50,000 free and clear or $150,000 that is illegal?
• Would you rather be able to visit 100 years in the past or 100 years in the future?
• Would you rather be able to eat anything and any quantity of food with no negative health effects, or be refreshed and well rested after only three hours of sleep?
• Would you rather be able to lie without being caught or always be able to tell when someone is lying?
• Would you rather have an ordinary home in an extraordinary location or an extraordinary home in an ordinary location?
• Would you rather have a photographic memory or be able l to forget anything you wanted?
• Would you rather have your first child when you are 19 years old or when you are 45 years old?
• Would you rather get married in an arranged marriage or spend the rest of your life single without dating anyone?
• Would you rather spend one year sailing around the world or one year living in the heart of London?
• Would you rather spend a year teaching at an inner-city school or spend one month as a beat cop in the same neighborhood?
• Would you rather babysit three-month-old triplets for four hours or go without food and water for the next 24 hours?
• Would you rather be completely indifferent to what other people think of you or have a completely and uncensored understanding of what other people think of you?
• Would you rather be 100 per cent debt free or have good health guaranteed for the next 10 years?
• Would you rather never be able to travel more than 50 miles from where you now live or live in hotels never staying in the same city for more than 3 nights?
• Would you rather have indestructible will power or be unquestionably lucky?

Interesting People Inspire Interesting Conversation

The world is full of amazing people from the past and present. Love them or hate them, a person’s character, claim to fame, inventions, talents and convictions can inspire discussions and debate on a wide range of fascinating topics.

We asked each mom to offer up a person they think is worthy of our salon and give us a mini-bio, just enough to get us chatting. It could be someone they admire, someone who inspires them to think outside the box or a person whose multi-faceted life begs us to dissect and discuss its choices and circumstances.

Here are a few people in detail and a few more may be posted as we get closer to our salon.

Victoria Caroline Beckham (née Adams)

D.O.B.: April 17, 1974

Profession: Fashion designer, business woman and former singer

Claim to Fame: Posh Spice of the Spice Girls

Famous Quotes:

”If you haven’t got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!”

“You have to remember that when you are a performer you become a celebrity, but you are not saving lives. It’s not that important.”

Vashti McCollum

D.O.B.: November 6, 1912 – August 20, 2006

Profession: Author, homemaker and the plaintiff in a landmark 1948 Supreme Court case that struck down religious education in the public schools.

Claim to Fame or what makes this person controversial or noteworthy: In 1945, Vashti McCollum, a mother of three and a part-time square-dancing teacher in Champaign, Ill. became one of the most notorious women in America when she sued the local public schools for teaching a class on Christianity.

Famous Quote: “As long as the public school is used to recruit the child or to segregate the children according to religion or to use the truancy power of the public schools to make them go to religions classes, I’m against it.”

Additional Information:

Separation of Church and State: PBS Airs Documentary of a Mother’s Story, The Huffington Post

The Woman Who Separated Church from State, Ms. Magazine

Catherine Elizabeth Middleton (Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge)

D.O.B.: January 9, 1982

Profession: Supporting charities

Claim to fame: Married to Prince William, 2nd in line to the throne, and fashion icon.

Famous quote(s): “About Princess Diana – Obviously I would have loved to have met her and she’s obviously an inspirational woman to look up to.”

“By far the best dressing up outfit I ever had was a wonderful pair of clown dungarees, which my Granny made.”

Additional Information:

The Official Website of the British Monarchy

Why Kate Middleton is picture perfect, The Observer

A few more interesting people:

Louis C.K.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Dolly Parton

Tim Tebow

Pierre Trudeau

Making Intimate Relationships Last

January Salon

We have pulled together a few articles on our highly requested salon topic – making intimate relationships last. As always, these articles are not mandatory homework, but we hope that you will find some time (maybe during naptime or after the kids are sleeping?) to peruse our fine assortment of reading materials.

The Five Languages of Love
According to marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman, each of us has a “love language”, a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. To complicate things, we tend to fall in love with someone who has a different love language. There’s a quiz to help you determine which of the five is your primary language. If you’re lucky, you may even be able to convince your partner to do it, too. (*We HIGHLY recommend completing the quiz mentioned here as it would make for a great starting point for our discussion.)

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage
New York Times “Well” columnist Tara Parker-Pope’s most recent book explores what make a good marriage and the science behind this most intimate relationship. Read an excerpt from her book or take one of the many quizzes she offers on her site to see if your relationship is hot or cool, or find out how well you know your partner.

Talk Sex with Sue Johanson

Famous nurse and sex educator, Sue Johanson shares some useful tips to help couples listen empathetically to one another. Her article Communications & Couple Therapy offers basic communication skills to help spouses get through tough situations. The 81-year-old talk show host’s site also hosts some “interesting” sex-related articles, if you prefer to focus on the “intimate” side of the relationship.

Dr. Phil

Who better than Oprah’s favourite psychologist to give you advice on marriage do’s? In his article The Five Biggest Mistakes that Threaten Relationships he and his group of specialists give five simple tips that can help you and your partner stay connected and in love.

Happy Reading!

Mme J. and Mme B. xo